What to Ask Yourself Before You Take Back Your Ex
Relationships are always like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. Sometimes, things go out of control and we break up, left wondering whether it was the right thing to do. Virtually, everyone knows a couple that separates and gets back together from time to time. It might work out for them, but will it for you? Before you decide to take back your ex, ask yourself these questions.
Why did you break up?
Before you move on and tangle yourself into this “getting-back-together” process, ask yourself the main question – what was the initial reason for your break up? Perhaps, the timing was wrong, you had a misunderstanding, or maybe you were interested in someone else. Before you take further actions, first, figure out the exact reason why it all collapsed and then think whether you can let it go.
Can you get over it?
The majority of breakups are ugly, people say awful things to hurt each other and the effect is dramatic. Are you ready to forgive and forget? There is no point in starting the relationship again if you still bear an old grudge against your ex. Moreover, are you sure that your former partner is ready to move on as well? Only when you both are fully committed to pick up the pieces and glue them back together, will your relationship work out.
Why do you need him or her back?
This question is the trickiest one because it is easy to mislead yourself. Be brutally honest and think beyond the “I love him/her”, by which we often justify our actions with. Love is great, but it is also complex. Have a look at the most common reasons why many people get back together after messy breakups and think whether you are not making the same mistake.
- Loneliness. Many opt for an unhappy relationship thinking that it is better than being lonely. It is not. You might not be alone, but still feel lonely if you do not feel love from the person next to you.
- Fear of starting over. The older we get, the harder dating becomes. You might think that returning to an old relationship is easier than looking for a new one. However, in many cases, it will not work and you will simply lose precious time.
- Low self-esteem. The saddest reason to get back into an unhappy relationship is thinking that you do not deserve any better. You absolutely do! Forget about romantic relationships at all and focus on building a good connection with yourself.
- Running out of time. Some of us create a plan for the future, and start panicking when it does not come to life. You wanted to get married until 25, but have already celebrated your 26th birthday being single? It is still not a reason to call your ex and ask him/her to return.
Cutting people out of your life hurts. Cutting the ones you loved can make you even more vulnerable and prone to mistakes. Before you open your heart to someone again, think carefully whether it is really worth it.