How to Deal with Jealousy
On an early stage of our relationship, my ex-boyfriend once said: "You’re so cute when you get jealous." The poor guy didn’t have a clue of the hurricane that will hit him later when jealousy makes a freak out of me. Jealousy is ugly. It brings out the worst in people, and it’s embarrassing. One moment you’re fine, but then you see that guy you broke up with 5 months ago, and the trigger goes off.
There are two reasons for jealousy – possessiveness and insecurities. There is little you can do when your partner thinks that they own you. That’s something we won’t dive in today, however thought-provoking that topic is. However, when it comes to insecurities, there are things you can do to make your loved ones feel more confident and hence less jealous.
Whenever your girlfriend gets jealous, try not to lose your temper, but step in her shoes. There is a likelihood she is insecure because she sees in other girls something that she believes she lacks. The key, in this case, is a calm conversation. Try to ask her what’s wrong in a soothing tone. If you just lose your cool, she’ll put the blame on you completely and make you seem guilty of anything she’ll be able to come up with.
Instead, assure her that there is no ground for mistrust (we hope there isn’t) and that you are not looking for another girl who is in any way better than her. A girl becomes jealous when she doesn’t feel loved, so make sure she feels the spark is still there. Just do it in a calm way, and she’ll confide in you quickly. However, if you do everything to make her feel loved and she is still freaking out over nothing, there might be no hope for her.
A jealous ex is someone who will poison your life at least once. However messy your break up was, try not to let revenge or any hard feelings lead you and manage this situation with dignity for both of you. It doesn’t mean that you have to pay attention to their feeble attempts to ruffle you in public. It’s a smart move to ignore that.
However, if that kind of behavior keeps escalating and gets your goat, it’s time to have a talk. Explain that you won’t tolerate them intruding into your life with an improper motive. Be ready that the conversation might lead to something resembling your breakup. Still, it’s necessary to nip this issue in the bud before it creates a toxic environment in your life and current relationship.
Here we’ll be very concise – get over with it. While jealousy in romantic relationships can stem from insecurities and can be worked out, there is absolutely no excuse why jealousy in friendship can exist. Even the best of friends are allowed to enjoy someone else’s company once in a while. Jealousy is detrimental to any friendship and completely excludes the purpose of it.
Jealousy is not fun or cute – it’s toxic and bitter. However, you can navigate around it with the right approach.